How to Make Friends as an Adult — and Keep Them
Admitting you don’t have close friends as an adult can feel uncomfortable, but it’s more common than most people realize. Life gets busy, priorities shift, and meaningful friendships often get sidelined. Still, how to make friends as an adult remains one of the most asked questions in every age group, from young professionals to people in their 40s and beyond.
As a matchmaker from Los Angeles, Julie Ferman reminds us, authentic human connection doesn’t just happen — it’s built with intention, presence, and a willingness to show up. Whether you’re starting over in a new city or trying to expand your circle where you are, now is the time to take that first step.
Why Is It So Hard to Make Friends as an Adult
When you’re younger, friendships form naturally — at school, in clubs, or through shared routines. But as life moves forward, everything changes. Jobs, relationships, and responsibilities take over. Suddenly, you find yourself wondering why it’s so hard to make friends, even when you’re surrounded by people.
Part of the problem is that most adult friends don’t just appear. Unlike childhood, adults rarely spend unstructured time with the same people day after day. The opportunities for bonding shrink, but the need for connection doesn’t. That’s why so many are struggling to make friends despite full calendars.
Another reason it’s hard to make friends as adults is fear — fear of rejection, judgment, or seeming needy. Yet most people feel the same way. The difference lies in who’s willing to go first.
The Best Ways to Make Friends as an Adult
It’s never too late to build new connections. The key is to be intentional and consistent. Below are some of the best ways to make friends as an adult, even if it feels awkward at first.
Join Interest-Based Communities
If you’re unsure how to find friends as an adult, start with shared interests. Hobby groups, sports leagues, and book clubs bring people together regularly, creating the perfect setting for forming friendships.
Even online communities can help you transition into real-life meetups. Many adult friendships begin with a simple message in a local Facebook group or a shared event invite.
Reconnect with People from Your Past
One of the best ways to make friends again is to reach out to someone you’ve lost touch with. Whether it’s a former coworker or classmate, sending a quick message can reignite a connection. This is often the easiest way to become friends without starting from zero.
Turn Acquaintances into Adult Friends
You likely already know people you see regularly — at the gym, at work, or even at your favorite coffee shop. These are opportunities to build a friendship. All it takes is a shift in intention: move from small talk to shared plans.
If you’re wondering how to get more friends, don’t overlook the people already in your orbit.
Volunteer, Take a Class, or Join a Local Group
Need more structured ideas? Try joining a cooking class, volunteering at a local event, or attending a group hike. These are great ways to make friends as an adult because they lower social pressure. You’re focused on doing something, and connection follows.
These spaces are also ideal for anyone asking how can I meet new people without relying on bars or apps.
Use Apps Designed for Meeting New People
Friendship apps are more common than ever. Bumble BFF, Meetup, and Friender are designed specifically to help adults meet new friends.
If you’re wondering about the best way to meet new people, these platforms allow you to filter by interests, age range, and availability, helping you find those who genuinely want to connect.
Where Do Adults Make Friends Today?
Finding your people starts with showing up where connection is possible. If you’re asking where adults make friends, the answer isn’t always obvious — but it’s not complicated either. You just need consistency, shared space, and a little courage.
At Work or Coworking Spaces
Many adult friendships begin on the job. Whether it’s a shared lunch break or a group project, consistent interaction opens the door. Invite a coworker to grab coffee — it could be the beginning of something more than professional.
In Hobby Groups and Interest-Based Classes
Still wondering where to make friends as an adult? Try places where people gather for common goals — cooking workshops, improv classes, or language meetups. The structure gives you something to talk about and a reason to return.
Through Apps and Online Platforms
If you’ve searched for how to find new friends, apps are a great start. Platforms like Bumble BFF and Meetup are made for adults who want more than just scrolling — they want to make new friends in real life.
At Gyms, Studios, and Volunteer Events
If you’re into fitness or community service, you’re not alone. These are ideal spaces for meeting a new friend without forced small talk. Bonus: you’re building habits and friendships at the same time and there is no age limit to this approach!
How to Get Over the Fear of Rejection
It’s easy to Google how do i make friends, but much harder to actually put yourself out there. One of the biggest reasons people hesitate isn’t lack of opportunity — it’s fear. Many ask, why is it hard to make friends as an adult? The answer often starts with rejection anxiety.
The truth is: not every attempt will work out — and that’s okay. Being turned down for a hangout or ghosted after a good conversation doesn’t mean you’re unlikable. It just means you’re not the right fit for that person.
Friendship, like any relationship, takes vulnerability. If you want to make new friends, you have to be willing to start the conversation, invite someone out, and risk hearing “no.” The good news? Most people are flattered when someone takes an interest in getting to know them, even if they don’t show it right away.
The more you practice, the easier it becomes. And the more “no’s” you hear, the closer you get to a meaningful “yes.”
Tips for Making Friends as an Adult in Your 30s and 40s
Different life stages come with different challenges and opportunities. Whether you’re entering adulthood or navigating midlife, making friends as adults requires intention and flexibility.
How to Make Friends as a Young Adult
If you’re in your 20s or early 30s and searching for how to make friends as a young adult, focus on momentum. This stage is full of transitions — new jobs, new cities, and evolving identities. Use that to your advantage.
Start with low-commitment spaces like coworking hubs, creative workshops, or casual sports leagues. Say yes more often, even when you’re unsure. Your openness now can lay the foundation for lifelong friendships.
How to Make Friends in Your 40s
If you’re wondering how to make friends in your 40s, you’re not alone. It can feel harder when others are busy with families, careers, or routines, but it’s far from impossible.
Prioritize quality over quantity. Seek depth through shared values and regular connection. Try joining a book club, volunteering consistently, or re-engaging with old passions like art or music. At this stage, adult friendship often grows out of familiarity, trust, and shared life experience.
Whether you’re starting or starting over, friendship is still possible — but it won’t show up without action. Matchmaker Julie Ferman reminds us, age doesn’t limit connection — it brings clarity about what kind of connection truly matters.
Make Real Friends, Not Just Contacts
Learning how to make friends as an adult isn’t about collecting names or filling your calendar. It’s about building real, lasting relationships with people who see you, support you, and grow with you.
Don’t wait for the “perfect moment” to start — it rarely comes. This week, try one small thing: send a message, attend an event, join a group, or say hello to someone new. That single action could be the beginning of something meaningful.
You don’t need a dozen new friends. You just need one real one. Start now.
